Criminality: Domestic Violence - How Perpetrators Manipulate Victims

Germany - Ekhbary News Agency

Criminality: Domestic Violence - How Perpetrators Manipulate Victims

Tens of thousands of women in Germany suffer from domestic violence, a reality often masked by official statistics. In 2024, the registered number of victims rose by 3.8% to 265,942 individuals, with partnership violence accounting for approximately two-thirds of cases (64.3%), according to the Federal Criminal Police Office (BKA). However, these figures represent only a fraction of the actual occurrences. Data from so-called "dark figure" studies (Dunkelfeldstudie) commissioned by the federal government indicate that roughly one in every six respondents has experienced physical violence from a partner or ex-partner in their lifetime. Alarmingly, only about three percent of these victims report the abuse to the police. This stark reality raises a critical question: Why do women remain trapped in violent relationships, even when the constraints extend beyond mere financial dependency?

Recent research, including a study from the University of Cambridge, suggests that perpetrators utilize sophisticated psychological and emotional strategies to ensnare their partners and undermine their self-worth. This often begins with an intense "seduction" phase, where the abuser showers the partner with excessive affection and attention, fostering a deep emotional bond. This is followed by periods of cruelty and emotional withdrawal, punctuated by sudden, unpredictable returns to loving behavior. This creates a disorienting cycle of hope and fear, making it difficult for the victim to recognize the pattern of abuse.

Dr. Mags Lesiak, the study's lead author, describes these relationships as often starting with "enchantment." She explains that "the subsequent coercion and abuse are so confusing that victims desperately try to maintain the initial image of their tormentor." In this way, love is weaponized to create a form of "psychological captivity." This tactic allows abusers to maintain control through emotional manipulation, making separation an almost insurmountable task for the victim, even without overt physical or financial coercion.

The Cambridge study also identified a common factor among abused women: a history of childhood trauma. Lesiak found that the 18 women interviewed for the study reported traumatic childhood experiences, ranging from distant parents to sexual abuse. Perpetrators often exploit these vulnerabilities, along with their own childhood traumas, to devalue their partners or humiliate them publicly. The study, published in the journal "Violence against women," emphasizes the necessity of focusing on the perpetrators' strategies to understand why abusive relationships persist, rather than attributing it to perceived deficiencies in the victims.

Paola Delgado Klamroth from the Federal Association of German Psychologists (Bundesverband Deutscher Psychologinnen und Psychologen) supports this perspective, noting that the study introduces a valuable new viewpoint for research. "It addresses the complex psychological manipulation by the perpetrator from the victim's perspective, which is highly beneficial for understanding, preventing, and treating victims of domestic violence," she stated. However, she cautions against overgeneralizing the findings, given the nature of studies based on individual interviews.

The Federal Working Group on Perpetrator Programs for Domestic Violence (BAG Täterarbeit Häusliche Gewalt) also commends the study's approach, recognizing its contribution to a better understanding of violent dynamics in relationships and highlighting the importance of incorporating victim perspectives in research. Nevertheless, the BAG points out that the small sample size of 18 interviews makes it difficult to derive broadly generalizable conclusions. They suggest that some inferences drawn from the quoted interview passages appear somewhat "bold" given the complexity of the issue, and that deriving clear perpetrator profiles or specific mechanisms of coercive control from such a limited number of interviews is challenging.

Barbara Wittel, a Pro Familia expert in Stuttgart, confirms that the strategies described in the study are familiar from her practical experience. She identifies the first sign of a toxic relationship as a situation where a woman is no longer permitted to have her own opinion. "This would highlight the difference between two individuals, and that difference is not tolerated at all," she explains. Instead, one person must subordinate themselves to the other. To help women escape violent relationships, Wittel stresses the paramount importance of "contact with another person" – someone who offers encouragement and validation, saying, "I see you." Women rarely seek help from women's shelters on their own initiative, often having been isolated from family and friends by their partners. Therefore, having "contact outside the system" can be life-saving.

In the case of "Ella" (a pseudonym), a second pregnancy ultimately led her to Pro Familia. She chose to terminate the pregnancy, Wittel recounts, as she could no longer envision having another child with Martin. Following the abortion, Ella continued her counseling sessions, which helped her leave her partner and find a safe place. Today, Ella lives with her child in a women's shelter, having begun the process of recovery from the psychological and physical abuse.

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